Black Sheep News: Cyprus cows contribute to global warming

The European Union yesterday accused Cyprus of increasing greenhouse gases because its cows produce too much methane.

“A herd of cows chewing grass will release 25 cc of methane gas into the atmosphere”, EU Health Commissioner said. “That’s twice as much as any power station, and Cyprus lets its cows roam free”.

Speaking at a farmers meeting, he recommend that Cyprus cows should first be put onto a low fibre diet including mashed potatoes, yoghurt and spaghetti.

Moreover, scientists confirmed that cow control was a positive development which should give humanity more time to self destruct using other popular methods.

President Christofias said he would help the environment by refraining from public speaking for a week. “This should go a long way towards cutting emissions”, he said. “The international community should be grateful to us”.

“Meanwhile we can now go back to worrying about the financial crisis, or whether Britney Speers should be committed to a loony bin or not", he added.